I’ve never been an outdoorsy kind of gal. As you know, I love the beach and I love flowers, but that is pretty much the extent of what I like outside of my nicely climate-controlled environment. No hiking through the woods for me, certainly no camping (if there is no bathroom why would I want to be there?), no rock climbing or spelunking (hanging out in caves). No thank you, I say!
It’s not that I haven’t done lots of these activities and therefore don’t know how much fun they are. I’ve engaged in plenty of these actions, enough to know what I like and what I really don’t like. So again I say, no thank you. The are a few reasons that I don’t care for outdoor fun, like always being hot. By nature I’m too warm most of the time. Put me outside with some heat and humidity and I’m sweating buckets.
I also turn beet red with very little exertion. I can be walking along with friends, and in a very short time, someone will ask me if I’m ok. “Yes, Yes”, I say, “I’m just fine, it’s just what my face does”. Maybe I have a lot of arteries close to the surface of my face. I’ve never really checked with a doctor because I’ve always been like that. It worries more people as I get older because someone is always concerned I’m having a heart attack!
But these aren’t the heart of what I don’t like about being outdoors, really it’s about respect for my personal space. And you know who doesn’t respect my personal space? Bugs, that’s who! They are drawn to me to like moths to a candle, so to speak. Where ever I go, no matter what I’m doing, no matter if 50 other people are around, those bugs are headed for me! Ants, flies, beetles, bees, whatever the local annoying insect is, it knows I’m there. And the worst are mosquitos!
I must smell like nectar of the gods to them. Within 1 minute of being outside, I’ll get a dozen bites! Big, itchy bumps all over my legs, arms, face and whatever else is exposed. Sometimes I swear they fly inside my clothes just to bite me in a place that is hard for me to scratch. The bites itch so intensely, I feel like I’m losing control of my senses. All I want to do is scratch, scratch, scratch!
So I want to obliterate them all! Whatever it takes, I want them gone. Now, I know that they must serve some purpose in the environmental food chain, so it’s probably not a good idea to get rid of them all, and really, I just want them to leave me alone. If they would do that, I’d be happy. But so far I haven’t found a good solution. I’ve tried all types of sprays and lotions, tried planting different plants and eating various foods that are reputed to repel them, to no avail. They are not getting the message!
Of course it doesn’t help having a stream behind my house and lots of trees around that hold in the humidity, or enough rain this spring to make my yard a swamp. But enough is enough! I’m tired of being mosquito fodder, I just want to have a bug free zone of about 2 1/2 feet all around me. If someone out there could create that for me, I would be so grateful! Then I could enjoy sitting outside on my swing whenever I get the chance!
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